Universal is remaking ‘Drop Dead Fred’ with Russell Brand. From the press release: “Produced by PolyGram and Working Title, the first “Fred” was critically drubbed and commercially unsuccessful. But it did achieve a certain cult status and is considered a film that fell short of its full potential.” Hey Universal I’ve got some other critically “drubbed and commercially unsuccessful” ideas for films you can remake.
Ernest Goes to Camp ”A group of juvenile criminals is sent for vacation to Kamp Kikakee. The clumsy Ernest has to care for them. They also help the Indian owner of the camp when a brutal mining corporation wants to tear down the camp to mine a rare mineral.” This time Ernest will be played by Seth Rogan and will be set in New Jersey where a group of juvenile criminals from Newark are sent for a vacation in which they also help the Indian owner of the camp when a brutal mall corporation wants to tear down the camp to mine a rare mineral…corn dogs.
Vampire’s Kiss ”A publishing executive is visited and bitten by a vampire and starts exhibiting erratic behavior like eating cockroaches and pigeons in central park. He pushes his secretary to extremes as he tries to come to terms with his affliction.” This time the vampire will be played by Zach Efron and will feature a musical number in a highschool.
Hobgoblins ”Hobgoblins” is perhaps the very worst of the wave of “small killer creatures” movies that began with “Gremlins” (and included much better examples of the sub-genre than this one, which even makes “Ghoulies” look like a cinematic masterpiece)” This time the hobgoblins will be in 3D and you’ll have to pay an extra 3 bucks to see the movie in theaters eventhough the film will be exactly the same. Except Marlon Brando’s head will be digitally composited onto all of the Hobgoblins…in 3d.
Please send my check in the mail Universal.
It’s a well known fact that Pigs frequent bars and parties. Also my Mother is not actually a Bear.
